What is your story? My question to you – Is your story empowering you or holding you back?
Generally, we tend to tell ourselves a story and, in my view, we use it as a bit of a protective mechanism. For example, you may tell yourself that you are not a runner, so you do not even attempt to go for a run, because you are afraid you might fail. This is us stopping ourselves from even the possibility of failure, by just ruling it out altogether.
How many of you have done this before? How many times have you told yourself any of the following stories?
– “I don’t have enough time”
– “I have tried everything”
– “I am not a runner”
– “I am not rich enough”
– “I am not pretty enough”
– “I am not smart enough to start a business”
– “I cannot find the motivation”
“I do not have the time” and/or “I do not have the money” is such a perfect example of the stories we tell ourselves to justify why we can’t do something and in all honesty those statements are just what have been holding you back. Now is the time to change your story to a more empowering statement from ‘I don’t have time’ to ‘ I am going to find the time for X, Y, Z’ and today, I am going to help you to de bunk your stories and flip that all around. We are going to break it down and turn your story into the amazing success story that we all know you are capable of living!
One big thing I want to focus on is: Not achieving weight loss goals, because we believe and tell ourselves we have tried everything.
[De bunk it now] Well… NO, you have not tried everything because if you had, you would have lost the weight you wanted to lose already. I know you know what I am saying and I’m not here to sugarcoat this topic so let’s keep rolling.
Now this is where you guys come in, time to knuckle down and de bunk this. Grab a pen and paper and let us break down our stories.
What I want you to do is to write down any number of things that you have told yourself to be true, to either avoid having to do something or to avoid that chance of failing.
3, 2, 1… GO!
– What has stopped you from attempting something, or stopped you from following through?
– What have you told yourself to believe?
– What story did you create to justify an action or in this case no action?
Now let us flip that, when and how have you changed that story and what was the outcome?
The key is to identify our story and how we can flip it. Let’s face it we have all been there before. We have been super good and on track during the week then when it comes to the weekend…BAM, we fall off the wagon. Then it turns into a bit of a justifiable response. This is because of our mindset and the story that we tell ourselves and believe to be true. The only person that we let down is ourselves. We need to learn to create that mind shift by choosing to re-create our own story so it ends the way we want it to.
Here is a little story of my own as an example;
I recently went to a Tony Robbins conference and the very first thing that caught my eye was ‘Walk on fire’. The first day we got there, we were challenged to walk across hot coals barefoot. To begin with I was so pumped and energized to do it. But when I got to the front of the line for my turn, there was this girl in front of me, that said she could not do it and wanted to pull out. I then started to doubt myself. I was telling myself that there is no way I could do it, over and over saying I would get burnt and that I just, cannot do it. My fear was starting to kick in. While the other girl was standing there in front of me saying she could not do it, being the encouraging person that I am, I tried to pump her up and egg her on. I was hoping that I could feed off her enthusiasm to be able to do it myself. But NOPE! It did not happen. She turned around and said, ‘you do it first’. I was thinking to my self-HOLY CRAP, I cannot just let her down after trying to encourage her to do it 5 seconds earlier. So, I flipped what I was telling myself from – ‘I can’t do it’ to ‘I am strong, I can, I can do this’. Anyways sure enough I walked straight across the hot coals, my feet did not burn, I DID IT, and I got to cheer her across to the end as well. It was a crazy experience, and I was so overwhelmed that I started crying because it helped me to realise we can change the way we think about anything in our heads. We started to reflect after and think about the stories we tell ourselves every day. Tony got us to reflect on other similar circumstances and stories we tell ourselves. For me it was when I was in high school and I told myself I would never go to University because I did not have the money and I would not be able to afford it. Okay, Like C’mon guys, who here has been to university and is still paying off there HECS debt? Right? Anyone who went to University! Because, there wouldn’t be many who would have enough money to go to university and pay for it up front. You must save, get a HECS debt and work hard to get to where you want to be. So, the overall story I told myself was ‘I wouldn’t have enough money to EVER go to university’ so I did not even bother trying to excel at school. How wrong I was!
You and only you, have the choice to be the VICTIM or to be the VICTOR in your story. So, let us change our story from being the victim and thinking ‘why me’ to becoming the victor. Start to learn ways to adapt to your environment, start to understand your own body, your own health and nutrition, and your physical activity, so that WE can become the VICTOR and transform ourselves and our own stories.
Taking it back to the activity above I want you to write next to your story if you are the victim or the victor. Let us amp it up and I want you to think about a time when in your story you have been the victor. A time where you have been the superhero of your story, in relation to health, fitness and/or weight loss? A time where you really stuck at it and really hit your goal or achieved what you set out to.
See how just that little shift, that sometimes we do not even realise we are doing, can really change everything. If you really want something and you really want to feel your best, then you must put yourself first and prioritize your time. It does not have to be extravagant, but it is about changing your story and getting yourself from the victim to the victor. I know, this may come across a little straight down the line, but that is all it comes down to. Put yourself first and be honest with yourself to finally achieve what you keep saying you want to.
To wrap it up, I want you to write down your own stories and debunk them all. Call out your own BS and transform from VICTIM to VICTOR. Even I, myself, must do this regularly to make sure I stay on track and stick to my goals. Call yourself out and take back that responsibility. If you are sick of the same old setbacks or disappointments, it is time to change the story that you are constantly telling yourself, time to quit sounding like a broken record and become the VICTOR!
You CAN do it!