Confidence – to me confidence used to be the thought of being able to go to the beach and not worry about wrapping myself up in a towel. Or looking in the mirror without wanting to put clothes on and cover up.
NOW, my self-confidence is not defined by these things.
MY self-confidence is how I talk to myself and how I react when I look at myself in the mirror and my feelings towards myself and my abilities.
Most importantly my self-confidence comes from how I show up, how I make other people feel and whether or not people come to me and feel like I’m going to be their solution or whether people look at me as a leader. That is where my self-confidence lies because if people are looking to you for advice, support, and general leadership, then you have something to offer.
So how do you do that? My advice is to find something that you can nail down on, put your heart and soul into and that you can help others with.
Another way that I want to help you guys redefine your self confidence is to stop looking outside for external acceptance.
– There is always going to be someone out there that you will compare yourself too, but it is now time to STOP. Stop trying to validate yourself by comparison to someone else and their journey. Do not let your self-worth depend on the view of others or how you think you match up to others.
Look into yourself and look how far you’ve come – you have all achieved something. You may not feel like it is a great achievement but trust me, you have! Just taking the time to read this is achieving something, you are here to better yourself, change your lifestyle and broaden your mindset.
Next time you scroll through social media or online shopping looking for external validation, think; how is this going to fulfill you. Is it a need, want, distraction or a stab at your self-esteem? Maybe instead of turning to social media or online shopping for validation or a distraction from what you really need to do, try connecting with people who bring the best out of you. Take the time to find what makes you feel good, something that you enjoy and something that will not have you comparing yourself but instead uplifting yourself or as you have heard before ‘fill up your own cup’.
It all starts within; it all starts with you. Everyone in the world may admire you, but you could still be seeking that external validation. Enjoy the journey and redefine your self-confidence. Are you really going to get anything out of comparing yourself to that supermodel on the front cover of a magazine? Or rid your mind of self doubt by telling yourself you’re not good enough? No. So here is where we need to appreciate the fact that you can move your body, you can show up and do daily tasks, and that you might be able to smash out a personal best that day #WINNING!
So how to create your own confidence:
1. Instead of looking in the mirror for validation, look at your physical ability, are you able to move and use your body – YES – let’s appreciate your body’s ability
2. Are you a manager or a leader at work? – Have confidence in this and your role
3. MUM’s – Look what you have created, look at what you are capable of everyday with the way you run a household. Preaching to all the mums out there – you are doing a damn fine job!!
Tips to help:
1. Detox from social media – stop scrolling and/or deactivate. Take time away from the screen, do something else that is good for the soul. E.g. Read a book or listen to a podcast
2. If social media is what motivates you – look to people who inspire you, people who are uplifting and positive daily – unfollow and get rid of anyone who makes you feel unworthy
3. Cut out limiting beliefs – you can do whatever you set your mind to! BELIEVE THAT!
4. Look at what you have achieved and what you have already overcome in the past.
Think about YOU and only YOU. Let’s not compare our level 1, to someone else’s level 100.