LOVE vs FEAR Based Behaviour

Let’s talk about FEAR vs LOVE-based behaviour.  This is exceptionally relevant to the fitness and wellness space because sometimes the drive behind our actions and behaviours can get a little bit distorted between the love or fear.

Let me put this into perspective for you guys. Now as we are in the health and wellness space, we are going to relate everything back to it. Grab a pen and paper/journal and we are going to take some ‘me-time’ to sit down and go through this exercise together. I want you to draw 2 columns, (just like the example below) and at the top of column 1, you are going to put “LOVE” and column 2 “FEAR”. Let’s get started!

I am going to give you activities, behaviours and/or habits that we do daily and I want you to put them into the column you feel you do them out of.


For example, if you feel like you are running 10kms out of the fear of putting on weight, then that is going to go in the FEAR column. If you feel like you do yoga three times a week out of love for your body, then you are going to put that in the LOVE column. 

When you read the 8 questions below, I want you to put them in the column that first comes to mind without thinking about it too much – inside you know the truth and that first instinctive thought is generally going to be the truest thought. 

1.   Do you exercise out of LOVE or FEAR for your body?

2.   Do you plan your meals out of LOVE or FEAR?

3.   Do you drive your car to the shops that are just a block away out of LOVE or FEAR?

4.   Do you text that friend on the weekend out of LOVE or FEAR?

5.   Have you ever tried yoga – if not is it because you are worried you will not be able to do it or be good at it? If so, this is going to go in the FEAR column.

6.   Have you ever tried to go for a run? Yes or no – out of LOVE or FEAR?

7.   Do you intentionally drink enough water each day? Yes or no – out of LOVE or FEAR?

8.   Do you like to move your body each day? Yes or no – out of LOVE or FEAR

Perfect! How’d you go? Now that you have your column of behaviours and general day to day

habits and you have categorized them into – out of LOVE or FEAR,  I want you to understand

why I have brought this topic up today.  Here’s a little background story for you:

When I first started my fitness journey, I would go to the gym every day before school. It was like there was a hidden drive for me because at the beginning I started to see really good weight loss results and I was so fearful that if I didn’t get up and go then I was either going to take a step backwards or I would lose all my progress.  Can you relate at all?

This is why I wanted you to put these daily habits into categories of LOVE or FEAR. To break down the process and gain an understanding of what drives you while doing these activities. Sometimes if we are constantly driving through fear, fear of failure, fear of losing progress, fear of losing relationships or fear of not fitting into your favourite dress. This is what puts our nervous system into a stressed state. Our nervous system is designed to cope with a level of stress, but if it is constantly hyper-stressed then our body can actually show signs of physical and mental stressors. Just a couple examples are; any minor or major mental health issues, minor or major physical signs such as rashes, hives and swelling. This is your nervous system trying to tell you that something in your lifestyle needs to be addressed.   

One more example I am going to share with you is the ‘FEAR’ of CARBS – are you avoiding carbs out of ‘FEAR’ of putting on weight or are you eating the ‘good, complex, wholesome and nutritious’ carbohydrates out of ‘LOVE’ for your body because you know that you will need the energy to move, to live, to thrive and to exercise daily.

Now I want you to really consider that one, because generally and as females there is this unspoken myth that you shouldn’t eat carbs, as it will make you gain weight – when this is NOT true. We have proven that with the nutrition coaching that we have been doing with our girls. They have slept better, they have had more energy – which, of course because carbs are your first source of readily available energy. We need them to move, to think and to be on our feet. Now, I don’t want people to think that you need to eat heaps of carbs and that’s going to solve all your problems – you do need to find a balance. So again, are you looking at what you are eating in a day out of ‘FEAR’ or out of ‘LOVE’ for your body? Because there are 2 very distinctive differences there.

So, grab that pen again and next to the answers in the ‘FEAR’ column, I want you to jot down the reason why. What is it that you fear? Is it the fear of putting on weight? Fear of not feeling accepted or is it the fear of failure?Just something for you to consider, be mindful and go about your day conscious of your decisions and behaviours. I want you to just go into this week mindfully, what are you doing for your body out of LOVE and what are you doing everyday just out of FEAR. Obviously, we want to aim to be able to have the majority in the ‘LOVE’ column and the minority or hopefully zero in the ‘FEAR’ column.

Enjoy lovelies and remember to do it out of LOVE, not FEAR!

Yours truly, Fitness360 x